this genius decided to bring a child sidekick for a robbery Inside a Texas Walmart, now the fbi is hunting him down

In a bizarre turn of events that would make even the most jaded gambler shake their head in disbelief, the FBI is on the hunt for a renegade bank robber who brought along a kid for the heist. Yes, you read that right—a full-blown Bonnie-and-Clyde scenario, only with a toddler in tow.

The Dallas division of the FBI is pleading for public assistance in identifying this maverick who executed a bank robbery in Fort Worth, Texas, on June 6th. Picture this: our audacious anti-hero rolls into the First Convenience Bank nestled inside a Walmart, pushing a shopping cart like he’s just browsing for cereal. But, oh no, he had grander plans. With a child comfortably seated in the cart, he strolled up to the teller, casually handed over a note demanding cash, and voila! Instant crime history.

The FBI, in a tone befitting a public service announcement, detailed that after securing a fistful of dollars, our bandit nonchalantly pushed the cart, child and all, towards the exit. Then, in a scene right out of a low-budget crime drama, he ditched the cart and fled the premises, cradling the child like a prized football.

This Robin Hood gone rogue is described as a white male, aged between 35 and 45, standing at a not-so-menacing 5’7” to 5’9”. Sporting a multicolored fishing shirt, khaki cargo shorts, and HeyDude shoes, he looked more like a dad on a weekend outing than a desperado. Topping off his ensemble with a baseball hat and black sunglasses, he was the epitome of incognito cool.

Naturally, the good citizens of Fort Worth were flabbergasted. Flora Chavez, a local who frequents the same Walmart, expressed her shock to NBC’s local affiliate, “There’s no reason to include a child [in a crime].” Yeah, Flora, some folks just don’t get it.

Shirley Ingram, another stunned resident, lamented, “I mean, to think of that poor little baby, to be connected with something like that. But she’s too young to really know what’s going on.” Right, Shirley, because the little tyke’s criminal mastermind phase is still a few years away.

Ingram speculated that the robber probably thought using the child as a human shield would deter any heroic efforts to thwart his getaway. “He probably thought if anyone was going to shoot, he would think of that little girl in his arms,” she mused. Indeed, Shirley, nothing says “tactical genius” like endangering a child in a Walmart heist.

As the story ricochets through the community, Walmart has maintained radio silence, leaving us all wondering if they’re just as gobsmacked as the rest of us.

So, if you have any intel on this modern-day Fagin, the FBI urges you to call FBI Dallas at 972-559-5000 or drop a dime at tips.fbi.gov. Who knows? Maybe you’ll help crack the case of the century—or at least this week’s wildest crime.